Everyone knows the phrase 'the pen is mightier than the sword', but have you ever stopped to think "what could be mightier than the pen"? The human race has been blessed with a communication skill so powerful and yet most of us take it for granted and don't understand how truly blessed we are. So, what is this blessing that I am talking about? It is the ability to communicate through words.
Whether they are spoken, written down, texts, signed or read, words are a very integral part of our communication process and when used can have some great effects. Everyday we use our words for many reasons. They can be used to express how we feel. They can describe something beautiful in detail. They can even be used to comfort/encourage a friend in need. Yes our words when put together to form the right sentences can bring lots of love and joy to others, however our usage of words also has a more sinister and darker side that many do not realize or perhaps just choose to over look. Words can also be used to describe something ugly or gruesome. They can be used to lie and deceive . They can also be used against someone to cause pain or discomfort. Yes when put together words can also hurt even the most intelligent and strong of us without us knowing it.
We have all had our very own experiences with the powers that a persons words can have over ourselves as well as the influence that our words may have on another person. I myself have experienced great joys, comforts, lies, deceits, and hurt at the hands of others. I am also certain that I myself have also caused joys, given comfort, told lies, deceived and maliciously hurt another's feelings because of my choice of words. Some of these I will admit that I am in no way proud of ever doing and others I sometimes wonder if it was actually me who used the words. Never before have I ever truly paid more attention to what my words or another may mean to someone else, that is not until yesterday.
I was blessed yesterday to have a conversation with an old high school acquaintance that I hadn't really spoken to since we graduated high school. I call her an acquaintance because while we did have a class together our senior year and did speak to each other while in school that's where it ended. We didn't talk or hang out outside of school. I really didn't know too much in detail about her nor her family and I'm sure that it was the same for her when it came to me. She was however always a very sweet and kind young lady who worked hard to achieve her goals and relied heavily on her faith and family. Anyhow over the last year or so she and I did "reconnect" through the wonders of facebook. At first it was that typical friend connection. You know, the one where you say hello, ask about each others well being, and congratulate each other on their life accomplishments thus far. Occasionally there would be a comment left on a posted photo, or a laugh at a funny status update but nothing really in depth. Why am I now giving you all of this history of our relationship? Because it is important to know and understand this so that you may also understand how truly blessed I was to have received her call yesterday.
Over the last five months I started to notice that this friend's status updates were changing. Instead of her usual cheerful, lighthearted and loving posts that I'd known her to have they were now becoming sad, depressed and at times angry. I knew of course that there was something negative happening in her personal life and it was obvious that she really needed a friend and someone to help her see the positive. At first I was reluctant to comment on her postings. In my mind I felt that I really didn't know her well enough to comment on her personal life and I didn't want to overstep any boundaries. As the first month passed and her posts continued down this dark, scary and lonely path something inside of me told me it was time to comment. It was time to encourage her. Time to let her know that she is not alone in the world and offer her any console that I could. I didn't need to know all of the dirty details to her problems. Hell, I never even asked. All I knew was there was a woman, a person, that I once knew who was in desperate need of a friend and some positive words and that I was the person to do it. So I started to comment on her posts. I started to encourage her that whatever it was she was experiencing at the moment she needed to consider the positive and would eventually get through. I began to support her in letting her know that it was okay to have feelings and that she needed to trust herself and her decisions. I would also try to leave comments that were lighthearted and sometimes funny in hopes that she would read them and they would brighten her day even if it was just the tiniest bit. Throughout it all, though, never did I ask or pry into what it was that was happening. Again, I didn't need those details to know that she was hurting and in need of some help.
The months continued to pass, her posts continued to come and I continued to leave her comments. Then Thursday another status update came and again I left a comment. This time telling her that even though I didn't know her story I knew that she was having personal problems and encouraged her to try not to let it get her down. I reminded her that not everyone will always take the high road and behave in a mature manner in situations but that she was still strong and making her choices. I also offered the encouragement that she is not alone with only prayers to help her. To my surprise it was not long afterwards that I received a message from her asking if she could call me.
It was yesterday morning when I received her phone call and we talked for hours. I am so grateful that she felt comfortable enough to confide in me the story of what she's been going through and I am even more grateful that I could help. Talking to her was like talking to a childhood friend. From the moment I said "hello" we spoke openly and truthfully about experiences and feelings and through it all I continued to offer her an ear of understanding. In order to respect her privacy I will not indulge some of the things we discussed nor will I confess the details of how I supported her. I will however, let you know that just as I told her, there is nothing in it that she should be ashamed of. By the time our conversation had come to an end and she'd thanked me for it all, it felt as if we'd always known each other. I left the conversation feeling a warmth in my heart and an understanding of how powerful our words can be that I'd never had before. I felt as if I'd had a purpose yesterday and that purpose was fulfilled by being there for her.
So, thank you dear friend for what you have given to me. You blessed me with your confidence, you shared your secrets, and most of all you taught me that a small act of kindness can go a long way. I learned from you how hurtful words can be even if they are not spoken directly to you. I learned that you don't always need to know a persons history or the details of their current situation in order to help them. But most important of all I learned that a few kind words spoken to another can really make a difference. I hope that after our talk that I can and will always be able to continue to encourage you and offer you words of inspiration. I know that one day things will change for you and you'll look back at these moments and understand that these are the moments that are going to mold you into the woman and mother you will become. Like I said before, it is going to be a long and tough road but please remember that it is not a road that you travel alone. Today's downfalls are just the stepping stones to tomorrow's triumphs. You are a wonderful, beautiful, smart woman with limitless opportunities at your fingertips. It may be slow going at first but you will persevere; you will survive and you will grow stronger. Those things that seem impossible today will prove possible in time and your worries will soon begin to dwindle. You will get through this!
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