A Night of Firsts

Last night our fifteen year old not only had his first date but he was also attending his first ever formal dance with her.  In the weeks leading up to the high school JROTC Military Ball there were lots of discussions and reservations on his part as to whether or not he was going to ask a date to the dance.  This formal gathering was mandatory for all students enrolled in the JROTC program and for a while he was reserved to the idea that he was going alone, stay for the opening ceremonies and then call for us to pick him up.

Of course my husband and I encouraged him to find a date and to enjoy the dance. About one week before the dance he'd finally confessed that he hadn't asked a date because he was embarrassed to have one of us drive him to pick her up then to the dance.  After a long talk explaining to him that everyone goes through this when they first start dating and that we would not be loading up the entire family into the van to take him on his date he seemed to relax a bit and was on the lookout for that special someone to ask.

Now I feel that I need to explain that this is a huge feat for him.  In the past he has always had problems socializing when it comes to kids his age, he doesn't facebook, he doesn't text, and he certainly doesn't email.  In the afternoons and on the weekends he is usually reserved to playing video games, watching television or playing with his IPod.  We literally have to force him out of the door and give him specific instructions as to what to do if we want him to go outside.  In the past six months that he has been living with us he has climbed over mountains when it comes to his social awkwardness and has become involved in a few after school activities and has made a few friends. This mandatory school event was a true test for him and I have to admit that not only did he survive it but he finally let his true self shine.

Ok, so back to the week before the dance.  Dalton was at school and had been asking around to see who was still available to go.  As he was beginning to loose hope that he wasn't going to find a date she found him.  Apparently she was another student in JROTC and approached him with her sister while he was waiting for the bus after school and yes, she asked him to be her date.  He was so excited when he came home from school that day. He walked in the door with a huge smile on his face, a skip in his step, and wanted to talk for almost an hour.  In the end he informed me that while he was elated that he had a date to the dance he'd also made arrangements with her for them to meet there instead of us picking her up.  As it turned out this was also her idea.

So the day of the ball arrives. He has his white dress shirt and bow tie to wear with his JROTC uniform and he's getting ready.  Now of course we have the boy so getting ready didn't start until an hour before he was supposed to be at the event.  After taking his shower and eating some dinner our 15 year old took his next steps toward manhood.  For the first time ever he was in the bath room and shaving his face.  For you see, over the past few months he's finally developed a small moustache and didn't want it to look bad for the date or taking pictures.  Then after shaving and getting fully dressed another first happened.  He combed his hair! That's right, combed it!  This kid never combs his hair.  Then again to my astonishment another first!  He puts on cologne!  OMG! Is this really the teenage boy who normally couldn't care less about his physical appearance?!  This can't be the same kid that we often have to remind to put on deodorant!  What in the hell is happening?!  Oh right, a girl. LOL

So with barely a few moments to spare before he has to run out of the door and get to the ball (sounds like Cinderella in a tux right?) he was ready to go and I was able to snap a quick picture of him.  We definitely had to document this night.

The Military Ball lasted until 11:00pm.  Dalton had taken his video camera with him so that he could document his night. By 11:20pm he was home and ready to tell us all about his night as well as show off the pictures and video that he'd taken.  As it turned out he did have a good time and as the video will show he did let his true self shine.  While his date didn't turn out quite the way he'd hoped and he'd decided not to pay for the pictures that were being taken at the ball he did end up dancing with several other young ladies and made the best of the night.  So for his first date and formal event we are left with a quick picture of him and his date that was taken in the hallways of the high school and a dark video of the kids and eventually Dalton doing some disco dancing. If you watch the video closely you will see Dalton move into the frame around the 34 second mark and take his place in line next to his date while they show off their disco fever.





Say 'NO' to ISD Mergers!

On November 8, 2010 Texas State Representative Fred Brown of Bryan, TX filed Bill HB 106 with the legislature. In this bill, Mr. Brown seeks the 'consolidation of, or detachment and annexation of territory in, certain school districts.' In Layman's terms, Mr. Brown is seeking to disban all of the independent school districts throughout the state, all 1,044 of them, and have them consolidated/merged into single county districts which would result in the state of Texas having 254 ISDs statewide.

In a news feature on CBS local news in Dallas on Monday January 17, 2010, Mr. Brown is quoted as stating "We should have one administration for every county. It doesn’t change the makeup’s of the schools, or the mascots, or the football teams or any of that.” His major claims to this newly proposed district setup is "The total amount that is spent out of the education dollar, 46 cents of every dollar, goes to pay for administration."  He claims that by elimanating what he calls administration duplication he can save the state $1 Billion each year. In another news story by CBS they make reference to him comparing this to the county wide school districts in many other states, including Florida.

Well I'm sorry to say Mr. Brown, but Texas is unlike many other states and the school districts here were designed to work in the best interests of the children of the state of Texas as well as the individual cities and communities.  It is fact that the ISDs are kept small, the student to teacher ratios are low, and the individual district gradings are up because of the individual city's control over thier educational system.  As for the schools, their mascots or their sports not being changed, do you honestly think that these are the important issues in this merger?  Are you so confident and blinded by your proposed bill that you think that this merger would have no effects on the school districts, their teachers, their students or their educational standards?

In Dallas County alone there are fourteen different independent school districts: Carollton-Farmers Branch ISD, Cedar Hill ISD, Coppell ISD, Dallas ISD, Desoto ISD, Duncanville ISD, Garland ISD, Grand Prairie ISD, Highland Park ISD, Irving ISD, Lancaster ISD, Mesquite ISD, Richardson ISD and Sunnyvale ISD.  Dallas ISD alone is home to more than 158,000 students whom are registered within it's 224 campuses, making it the 14th largest public school district in the nation.  If you were to allow the Dallas ISD to absorb the other 13 ISD's within it's county it would more than double (almost triple) those numbers for both the students and the actual school campuses.  Right now in Dallas County there are collectively more than 428,291 students registered and attending one of the 593 campuses located throughout each of the county's ISDs.  Placing all of those campuses as well as such a vast number of students under one administration is absurd. 

Upon further inspection of Bill HB 106 I also noted that Mr. Brown was proposing that ISD's whom lie within two seperate counties would be required to split apart and have the schools within those counties absorbed into the appropriate ISD.  Students residing within the transferred territory would then become residents of the receiving school district.  He also proposed that all title properties within the ISD's would be allocated to the receiving districts as well as any debts.  The receiving districts would also assume jurisdiction of annexed territory that was used for all other purposes by the former ISD.  And again, Mr. Brown, you still do not see how this will affect those involved?  Seriously?!

Already I am foreseeing a loss of jobs, annex buildings being left vacant across the county, school attendence zones being redrawn, county ISD's whom are already overbudgeted and have histories of miss-management of their funds collectively becoming responsible for more debts, and as a result of rezoning class room sizes shifting. I also foresee smaller community schools such as the ones in Sunnyvale, whose student population is 1,156 for grades K-12, being absloved.  Thus resulting in a loss of teachers jobs and students being located to other schools within the district resulting in raising their student to teacher ratios. I can forsee the testing scores of the those schools whom were shifted over to the county districts being lowered as well as their school's state recognition.  This merger would in no way be one of only administrational change.  It would change the entire educational system in Texas as we know it.

In a county were the county ISD is reported as having the highest number of underperforming schools within the state I can not and will not sit by quietly as you push to have the school system that my children attend merged with it.  I will not sit quietly as you ask of us to allow an ISD that is profoundly known for it's controversies, troubles and poor management to take over the ISD that I so proudly enrolled my children into.  This bill, this proposal that has been submitted to Legislature if it passes, I fear will destroy the educational system that Texas has worked so hard for and has become so proud of.

I urge all of my readers, if you live in the state of Texas, to write to Representative Brown; write to your own local state representatives; write to Governor Rick Perry and let them know that we will not accept this.  If Mr. Brown had truly believed in his proposed bill, then why would he send it before legislation without first allowing the people, those whom will be affected by it, to vote on it?  Shouldn't I have a say so in the future of my child's education?  After all, isn't this one of the reasons why most of us live where we do today?

Five years ago when my husband and I relocated our family to Texas we did so because of the education system; the way the individual cities were responsible for their schools instead of the county; the way that it offered our children individual learning opportunities rather than grouped them into numbers and because of the opportunities that this state and the city of Dallas could offer to them because of the education they would receive. We saw this as an opportunity to not only better ourselves but to give our children a chance at the opportunities that we did not have growing up in southern Lousisiana.  Now all of those opportunities are being threatened by this proposed bill.

So again to my readers: 
If you are a parent of a student here in Texas please raise your voice and say 'NO' to this.  I implore you not to let your child become just a number, a nameless face, in the classroom. 

If you are a teacher or a school employee consider that your job could be one that is lost, your benefits may change under the "new" administration, your students may be relocated, and surely your budgets will be cut. Make sure that your State Representative as well as the State Board of Education knows that you are not in favor of this bill passing.

If you are a student consider the fact that if you live in a district where the ISD lies within two counties you will have to attend the appropriately appointed school for your zone in your district.  Consider that now you will have to compete with more than 420,000 other students for a top scoring position in your district.  Consider that your once small class of 15-20 students may now grow in size and you will loose that individualized learning experience that you are now so comfortable with. 

But hey! We should all be okay with this right?  After all, Mr. Brown did assure us that the school name, mascot and football team wouldn't change. Doesn't that just make you feel so much better about it? I should hope not!

I know that I can not speak for everyone within the state of Texas but I do hope that most of you feel as I do when it comes to this bill.  In no way do I see it benefitting our educational system other than in the fact that the state will supposedly save $1 Billion each year and those school districts whom were already so bad off may receive an overall ratings boost thanks to the schools that they will eventualy partner with.

Also, for those of you wondering what happens now that the bill has been filed I have checked and learned that there are seven stages that it has to pass before it can come into law:

Stage 1: File
Stage 2: Out of the House Committee
Stage 3: Voted on by House
Stage 4: Out of Senate Committee
Stage 5: Voted on by Senate
Stage 6: Sent to Governor
Stage 7: Bill becomes law

Right now proposed bill HB 106 has only been filed.  I am confident that if enough of us voice our concern and make it clear that we are not in favor of this change we can prevent it from progressing any further.

Should any of you wish to write to Representative Brown as it pertains to this bill you can do so at the following addresses:

Representative Fred Brown
Room CAP 1N.09, Capitol
P.O. Box 2910
Austin, TX 78768
Phone: (512) 463-0698 Fax: (512) 463-5109

Representative Fred Brown
1920 West Villa Maria Rd.
Suite 303
Bryan, TX 77807
Phone: (979) 822-9797 Fax: (979) 822-7979

The Power of a President's Words.

For as far  back as I can remember the Presidents of the United States of America have always stepped forward during times of great peril and addressed not only the nation as a leader, but also the families of those most affected as a representative of the people.  As the Commander-In-Chief, I like so many look to him in the moments following great tragedies and natural disasters that affect our country as a whole for words of comfort, explanations and plans to move forward.  It is in these times also that we want to know that our losses have not gone unnoticed.

As I sat and watched President Obama address the nation Wednesday night from the memorial service for the victim's of the Tucson shooting I was moved.  Here before me stood the President on television giving not only the names but meaningful depictions of the lives of those individuals whom were tragically lost, those whom fell victim but survived, as well as those whose acts of heroism allowed for the shooter to be caught and other lives to be spared.  He spoke of each person as if he'd known them, obvious that he'd taken the time to speak to their loved ones and saw them through the eyes of their families and friends.  He allowed us a glimpse of his own emotions as he spoke of 9 year-old Christina Taylor Green as I am sure he could see the faces of his own children in her.

During the president's speech I took great notice in the messages that he was conveying to the nation.  He asked that we honor those whom were lost; talk to one another in a healing manner and guard ourselves against simple explanations. He requested that we not use this tragedy as another reason to turn against our fellow man but rather remember what it is that holds us together.  He asked that we reflect upon ourselves as well as our lives: past, present and future.  But most importantly he challenged us as a nation to work together to make sure this country, this democracy, live up to the expectations of our children.

As I continued to listen I began to think back to the blog I'd posted just last week, The Power of A Word.  President Obama's speech at the memorial in Tucson is a wonderful example of how one person's words could make a huge impact upon the lives of many.  I also appreciated how as the leader of our country he was intelligent enough to understand the immediate responses and reactions of the everyday people to such a tragedy and addressed them. He spoke emphatically of the fallen victims but reminded us that realistically we will never be certain of what caused such a violent rampage.  Instead of encouraging sadness, anger and blame he encouraged hope, love and togetherness. He urged us to move forward into a more positive direction.

As I listened and began to really feel the words he was speaking I began to think about other presidential addresses that had been given during times of great peril and the impacts that their words may have made during that time.  How did other leaders react to national tragedies during their times in office?  Did they even give an address? As I reflected I could recall that already President Obama has spoken on three different occasions: the mining accident in West Virginia, the shooting at Fort Hood and now the shooting in Tucson.  Former President George W. Bush spoke after the tragedies of September 11, 2001 and hurricane Katrina. Former President Clinton dealt with the Oklahoma City bombing while former President Reagan witnessed the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger.  But what about all of the presidents that preceded them?  Hadn't they each faced a national tragedy during their elected terms?

So began my internet search for speeches/addresses that were given by our national leaders during times of great peril.  Immediately into my search I stumbled upon a broadcast from the PBS News hour from Wednesday night that preceded President Obama's speech on the shooting in Tucson in which there was a discussion between the news anchor and two presidential historians on this exact subject. During this broadcast they'd discussed the President's role as "Consoler-In-Chief" and to my astonishment proclaimed that these types of speeches had not before taken place prior to President Reagan's address to the nation after the loss of the space shuttle Challenger.  This I noted quickly had to be a mistake on their parts. Surely presidents whom preceded President Reagan had spoken to their countrymen and offered words of condolence and encouragement before.  The loss of the space shuttle Challenger wasn't our nation's first major loss.  What about the loss of the crew of Apollo 1, the assassination of President Kennedy, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the Great Depression?  Hadn't the leaders of those times said something?

So once again I resumed my search for speeches given by presidents during times of tragedy, natural disaster, and violent acts of terrorism.  During my search I came across many transcripts of presidential addresses that occurred mostly during when they were sworn into office as well as when they'd left office.  These however always tend to be political speeches and while their words can be moving they often had no personal meaning.  Finally I began to break through and found several websites where I could read and copy down other speeches given by these leaders during hard times.  One of the first that I came across was the speech that was given by former President Bush just after the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.  As I sat and read his words I remembered that horrible day.

As I read those words I felt not a sense of comfort but a sense of continued fear intermingled with anger and rage.  I can remember wondering the day that it all happened, who would dare to come onto U.S. soil and cause such harm, such tragedy, such destruction and have the audacity to think that we as Americans would just lie down and allow it to happen without attacking back. As I read these words again I began to understand the effects that they had on me and I am sure millions of others the day they were spoken.  This speech, this address was by far not one of console or positive encouragement.  These words were spoken and conveyed feelings of anger, hatred, and a desire for revenge. There were no words of sympathy for what we'd lost that day.  There were however, words that encouraged anger towards those responsible for causing such great losses.  These were words that drove us blindly into war.

As I continued my search of  these speeches I began to wonder if the words used in the address after 9/11 by President Bush had only effected me so emotionally because it was something that I myself had witnessed as it happened.  In all honesty I do believe that yes I tend to be more emotional towards it for those reasons but as I continued to research and read I found that other speeches too stirred emotions, raised questions and provoked thought within me. 

President Roosevelt's "Day of Infamy" speech that followed the attacks on Pearl Harbor while filled with facts and a lack of personal emotion on his part made me feel as if at that time he was in total control.  In control not only of himself but of the situation, the country and how our nation would respond.  I felt that he'd calmly stood before Congress on that day and laid out the facts of what had transpired with Japan over the last 24 hour period and without asking for their permission or trying to rally others to support his decisions he calmly and flatly stated that we were at war and would defend ourselves. He clearly stated how those attacks had severely damaged the American naval and military forces but also stated matter-of-fact that no matter how long it would take, America would overcome the premeditated invasion and emerge victorious. While many of President Roosevelt's addresses were just the same, full of factual information and devoid of real emotion, I still felt a sense of ease and console within his words. Perhaps though, this is only because I feel more at ease when I know the facts.

On March 15, 1965 President Lyndon B. Johnson gave his "We Shall Overcome" speech to the nation following the civil rights crisis in Selma, Alabama.  In his (in my opinion) long winded address to the nation about civil rights, his stand points and views on civil rights, and the laws as they pertain to the American people his words conveyed to me two things:  the shame of a nation as well as the urgency to do away with national prejudice.  I felt pride in a President that was willing to take such a controversial stance in favor of the "American Negroes" during that time. I felt ashamed however, that 100 years had passed since Abraham Lincoln sought to free slaves and declare all people equal yet there was no equality at all during that time and our nation sought to suppress those because of their color. Even though I did not live through the times of the civil rights movements I can still relate to this period of time because we are still faced with many prejudices today. The words that were most compelling to me in his speech and brought forth the most feeling and though were :"These are the enemies: poverty, ignorance, disease. They are our enemies, not our fellow man, not our neighbor." For it is these three things that we continue to fight today.  I feel deeply that until we can overcome these "enemies"  only then can we rid our world and lives of the prejudice.

Finally I read President Reagan's address to the nation following the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger.  While I can vaguely remember the day this happened I still can not relate to it as well as I can to the 9/11 attacks or the Oklahoma City bombing.  Here he brought forth a sense of personal involvement when he mentioned the pain felt by both he and his wife.  He personalized the tragedy by using the names of the victims and speaking directly to the families.  He spoke of the bravery, the grace, the spirit and the daring of the crew members. He spoke to the schoolchildren of America whom were watching the live coverage and he spoke to the employees of NASA.  In his speech President Reagan expressed his continued faith in our space programs and reminded us that while we had seemed to have come so far we were still but pioneers when it came to the wonders of space exploration.  He spoke of how curiosity, pioneering and discovery were all apart of our history and while yes lives are sometimes lost they are not lost without 'cause. Most importantly President Reagan ensured in us all that while we would mourn the loss of the crew of the Challenger we would learn from this experience, we would move forward and we would honor the work and sacrifices that they made. 

There have been many other speeches throughout the history of the United States that were given by presidents and they all conveyed their own messages and feelings.  Each of them has had their own way of speaking when it comes to dealing with the issues and addressing the nation after major tragedies but ,as I hope that I have portrayed here, they do not come without consequence.  The words that are spoken have to be chosen carefully so as to appeal to the listener and arise within them feelings that the speaker wishes to convey. They have to be given, in some cases, matter of fact to ensure no misinterpretations of the intended meanings.  They have to be written well so that the speaker does not come off as a bumbling fool yet simple enough for everyone to understand. And most importantly they have to encourage a nation to move forward, to persevere and to emerge victorious.

Words as most of us know can be very tricky and when used correctly can have huge effects. It is how we use those words that sets us apart from those around us. Remember it is easy to encourage, console and praise those that we know, however it is a far tougher task to do it for millions that we don't.  It is also easy to express anger, discouragement, and suppress others even when we ourselves know how much it can truly hurt. So as President Obama said on Wednesday night " it is important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds."


Should you wish to read any of the transcripts from the speeches mentioned in this article/blog or other famous speeches in our history you may do so at http://www.historyplace.com/speeches/previous.htm.

A Star is Born!

For Dalton's birthday Michael and I gave him a digital camcorder.  He'd been hinting around since the summer that it was something he was hoping to receive as a gift for Christmas.  After watching him walk around the last six months taking 30 second videos with his cell phone we decided that it would be an appropriate gift for his 15th birthday.  So on his birthday we gave him a ColorPix digital camcorder that was sort of like the Flip cameras.  Regretfully it ended up breaking within the first 24 hours of use and we returned it to the store.

Obviously upon returning it we'd decided that we weren't going to do an even exchange. So we had our money refunded and started shopping around for a new one.  We ended up finding an incredible deal on a Samsung with the carry case, tripod and 4GB memory card over at BestBuy and purchased it. 

Now Dalton is armed with a video camera, the kids are basically crazy and they are trying to find ways to entertain themselves in the evenings.  So what do they do?  Well with the camera rolling Cayden has taken the spotlight to become an instant star.  So here it is people, your first glimpses at the craziness that is Cayden.  Get some popcorn and soda, sit back and prepare to laugh because this kid is crazy.  Oh and I promise that no animals or people were harmed in the making of these videos....only my sanity. LOL

(Tumbling through Space)

(Crazy Laughter)

(Extreme sports stunts)

(You're killing me!)

(Astronaut Auditions)

An actor in the making? Maybe.

First Snow of the Season...Part Two

Cayden didn't get his chance yesterday to get out and play in the snow.  At the time a nap seemed more important and on the menu for him.  Thanks to last night's cold temperatures and slightly little more snowfall he was able to make up for that lost time this morning.

After getting both Alyssa and Dalton off to school this morning, Cayden and I headed home for some playtime in the snow.  By this I mean he ran around a bit, threw some in the air, ate most of what he'd picked up and about 20 minutes later was chilled to the bone and ready to come in.  After a quick warm up and some breakfast we headed back out onto the deck in the backyard to make our snowman.  With the snowman made, his belly full of some more snow, our hands freezing and the snow starting to melt this would be the end of our snow day.  Too bad the older kids had to miss it!

(Um, Mom, Where is the rest of him?)

(Our Little Snowman)

(Shhh, he's wearing Alyssa's baby doll's hat & scarf)



First Snow of the Season

The first snow of the season/year has finally arrived in North Texas.  As we awoke this morning to a dreary sight of freezing cold rain the outlook for today started off very grim.  Of course we'd watched the news last night and saw that 2"-4" of snow was expected in and around the Dallas area but the site that was before us this morning said otherwise.

Around 11am, as I was updated and loading new software onto the kids computer I glanced out of the window to see that the snow was finally falling.  For a while it came down steady and thick and in no time it was sticking to the roofs, vehicles and grass.  At first the kids were elated and wanted to run out and play, but with all of the rain that preceeded the snow outside was not an option.

So to take their minds off of playing in the snow we decided to take Dalton out for some post-birthday shopping with his money and gift cards he'd received from family and friends.  By about 3:30 this afternoon the shopping was done and the snow was slacking so we headed home for some fun.

By the time we reached home I am regretful to say that Cayden had fallen asleep and preferred to nap rather than play in the snow.  I am also sorry to say that there aren't many pictures of us actually playing because the snow had already begun to melt and it was wet and cold.  However I am happy to say that I did snap a few pictures of the beauty there was to behold thanks to the wonderful coat of white that everything had.  I also had time to create a snow sculpture of my own.  The kids were working on a snowman but quickly destroyed it before I had a chance to finish it's head so now we have a head sitting on the front lawn.  Odd but fun!

(She was waiting all day to throw that first snowball)

(Kitty didn't care for it too much)

(The beginning of my head)

(He's smiling up from the front yard)

The Power of a Word

Everyone knows the phrase 'the pen is mightier than the sword', but have you ever stopped to think "what could be mightier than the pen"?  The human race has been blessed with a communication skill so powerful and yet most of us take it for granted and don't understand how truly blessed we are.  So, what is this blessing that I am talking about? It is the ability to communicate through words. 

Whether they are spoken, written down, texts, signed or read, words are a very integral part of our communication process and when used can have some great effects. Everyday we use our words for many reasons.  They can be used to express how we feel. They can describe something beautiful in detail.  They can even be used to comfort/encourage a friend in need. Yes our words when put together to form the right sentences can bring lots of love and joy to others, however our usage of words also has a more sinister and darker side that many do not realize or perhaps just choose to over look. Words can also be used to describe something ugly or gruesome. They can be used to lie and deceive .  They can also be used against someone to cause pain or discomfort.  Yes when put together words can also hurt even the most intelligent and strong of us without us knowing it.

We have all had our very own experiences with the powers that a persons words can have over ourselves as well as the influence that our words may have on another person.  I myself have experienced great joys, comforts, lies, deceits, and hurt at the hands of others. I am also certain that I myself have also caused joys, given comfort, told lies, deceived and maliciously hurt another's feelings because of my choice of words.  Some of these I will admit that I am in no way proud of ever doing and others I sometimes wonder if it was actually me who used the words.  Never before have I ever truly paid more attention to what my words or another may mean to someone else, that is not until yesterday.

I was blessed yesterday to have a conversation with an old high school acquaintance that I hadn't really spoken to since we graduated high school. I call her an acquaintance because while we did have a class together our senior year and did speak to each other while in school that's where it ended.  We didn't talk or hang out outside of school. I really didn't know too much in detail about her nor her family and I'm sure that it was the same for her when it came to me.  She was however always a very sweet and kind young lady who worked hard to achieve her goals and relied heavily on her faith and family.  Anyhow over the last year or so she and I did "reconnect" through the wonders of facebook.  At first it was that typical friend connection. You know, the one where you say hello, ask about each others well being, and congratulate each other on their life accomplishments thus far.  Occasionally there would be a comment left on a posted photo, or a laugh at a funny status update but nothing really in depth. Why am I now giving you all of this history of our relationship?  Because it is important to know and understand this so that you may also understand how truly blessed I was to have received her call yesterday.

Over the last five months I started to notice that this friend's status updates were changing.  Instead of her usual cheerful, lighthearted and loving posts that I'd known her to have they were now becoming sad, depressed and at times angry.  I knew of course that there was something negative happening in her personal life and it was obvious that she really needed a friend and someone to help her see the positive.  At first I was reluctant to comment on her postings.  In my mind I felt that I really didn't know her well enough to comment on her personal life and I didn't want to overstep any boundaries.  As the first month passed and her posts continued down this dark, scary and lonely path something inside of me told me it was time to comment.  It was time to encourage her. Time to let her know that she is not alone in the world and offer her any console that I could.  I didn't need to know all of the dirty details to her problems.  Hell, I never even asked.  All I knew was there was a woman, a person, that I once knew who was in desperate need of a friend and some positive words and that I was the person to do it.  So I started to comment on her posts. I started to encourage her that whatever it was she was experiencing at the moment she needed to consider the positive and would eventually get through.  I began to support her in letting her know that it was okay to have feelings and that she needed to trust herself and her decisions.  I would also try to leave comments that were lighthearted and sometimes funny in hopes that she would read them and they would brighten her day even if it was just the tiniest bit.  Throughout it all, though, never did I ask or pry into what it was that was happening.  Again, I didn't need those details to know that she was hurting and in need of some help.

The months continued to pass, her posts continued to come and I continued to leave her comments.  Then Thursday another status update came and again I left a comment. This time telling her that even though I didn't know her story I knew that she was having personal problems and encouraged her to try not to let it get her down. I reminded her that not everyone will always take the high road and behave in a mature manner in situations but that she was still strong and making her choices.  I also offered the encouragement that she is not alone with only prayers to help her.  To my surprise it was not long afterwards that I received a message from her asking if she could call me. 

It was yesterday morning when I received her phone call and we talked for hours.  I am so grateful that she felt comfortable enough to confide in me the story of what she's been going through and I am even more grateful that I could help.  Talking to her was like talking to a childhood friend.  From the moment I said "hello" we spoke openly and truthfully about experiences and feelings and through it all I continued to offer her an ear of understanding. In order to respect her privacy I will not indulge some of the things we discussed nor will I confess the details of how I supported her. I will however, let you know that just as I told her, there is nothing in it that she should be ashamed of.  By the time our conversation had come to an end and she'd thanked me for it all, it felt as if we'd always known each other.  I left the conversation feeling a warmth in my heart and an understanding of how powerful our words can be that I'd never had before. I felt as if I'd had a purpose yesterday and that purpose was fulfilled by being there for her.

So, thank you dear friend for what you have given to me.  You blessed me with your confidence, you shared your secrets, and most of all you taught me that a small act of kindness can go a long way.  I learned from you how hurtful words can be even if they are not spoken directly to you. I learned that you don't always need to know a persons history or the details of their current situation in order to help them. But most important of all I learned that a few kind words spoken to another can really make a difference.  I hope that after our talk that I can and will always be able to continue to encourage you and offer you words of inspiration. I know that one day things will change for you and you'll look back at these moments and understand that these are the moments that are going to mold you into the woman and mother you will become. Like I said before, it is going to be a long and tough road but please remember that it is not a road that you travel alone.  Today's downfalls are just the stepping stones to tomorrow's triumphs.  You are a wonderful, beautiful, smart woman with limitless opportunities at your fingertips.  It may be slow going at first but you will persevere; you will survive and you will grow stronger.  Those things that seem impossible today will prove possible in time and your worries will soon begin to dwindle.  You will get through this!



I Have a Fifteen Year Old! Wait, Whaaaaa!?

Yesterday was Dalton's 15th birthday! Can you believe it? He's actually fifteen years old.  I'm not supposed to have a 15 year old yet! That's not supposed to happen for another 8 1/2 years! A least that's what you would think anyway.

It just doesn't seem like it's been almost 8 years since I met my husband and his skinny little 7 year old son. Of course I didn't meet Dalton until several months into dating his father and I haven't left since that day.  There I was at 24 years of age dating a single Dad with a 7 year old son and never in my wildest dreams did I think that we would still be together as a larger family today.  Isn't it funny how life works out?

Now fastforward almost 8 years through all sorts of memories to today.  It was about a month ago when we began asking Dalton what he would like to do for his birthday. Would he want a party (he's never really had many of them)?  Would he want to go somewhere?  What would he like to do?  The only information that I was able to get out of him was that he wasn't too interested in inviting people over to hang out nor to have a big party.  He just wanted some tacos for dinner and a cookie cake.  Seriously, this was the easiest birthday I've ever had to worry about.  The hardest part of it all was selecting the right gift.

This past weekend, while Dalton was still visiting with his mother in Louisiana, we headed over to Fry's to find that perfect gift for him.  After much debating on what we wanted to get for him as well as how much we were able to spend we ended up purchasing him a ColorPix digital camcorder.  He'd been hinting around that he wanted one and is always complaining about how he has a YouTube account with no videos on it.  So what better gift than a camcorder that would fit in his pocket and plug right into the usb port on the laptop for him to be able to upload and share his videos. 

Well his birthday finally arrived yesterday and he was so funny getting ready for school.  He kept walking around the house and looking at me expectantly awaiting that "Happy Birthday" greeting.  Well I know that it's mean but I let him leave for school without anything being said about it being his birthday.  What he didn't know was that I'd already posted it on his facebook page.  So as the day wore on  I ran around trying to get things done in the house and then it was off to the store for the cake, some ice cream and stuff to make tacos.

At about 4:30 in the afternoon Dalton walked in through the door from school and again I just left things as being a normal day.  I asked if he had any homework; he said yes and I told him to get it done.  About 20 minutes later he was sitting next to me on the sofa with that sad puppy look just staring at me and the two kids almost like he was in disbelief that no one had said anything yet.  So I slowly lowered the book that I was reading, looked at him and shouted "Happy Birthday!".  To which he jumped and almost fell on the floor. LOL

After Michael got home from work we had our taco dinner, sang "Happy Birthday" and ate cookie cake and ice cream.  As we were finishing up I looked at Michael and said "Hey, I think we forgot something.  I'm not quite sure what it is but I can't shake the feeling that something is missing."  Under his breath Dalton replied "My gifts".  So Michael went and got his present out of the office and gave it to him.  Of course his face lit up at the site of a present and his first guess was that we'd gotten him a book.  Once the gift was in his hand he turned with a perplexed look and said "It's not a book?! It's too light."  As he unwrapped the gift his smile continued to grow wider and wider until he looked like a happily deranged clown without any makeup.  I think I can confidently say that he is very happy with his birtday gift.

After that we ended the night by playing and competing with each other on Game Party in Motion on the Kinect.  Now the only thing left that he has no clue about is that Michael is planning on taking him out to the shooting range this weekend for some father/son time.  (Glad he doesn't read my blog 'cause the surprise would be ruined).

(Dalton and I 2003)

(2005 @ the Ringling Bros. Circus)

(The Cake)

(Wonder what he wished for. Hmmm.....)

(Cayden really liked the icing)

(Hmmm, I don't think it's a book.)

(OMG! It's not a book!)

(Happily Deranged Circus Clown with his camera)



Advising Alyssa

Travel time in our family vehicle seems to have become the time in which Alyssa becomes very inquisitive.  Her topics of discussion are usually topics that are off beat and have nothing to do with anything that is happening at the current moments in time nor do they have any relation to anything that we've recently passed on the road.  I'm not quite sure if it's the drive time that allows her to de-clutter her thoughts and focus and reflect on things that interest her or if it's just out of boredom that she comes up with some of her inquiries but there's one guarantee: every time we get in that vehicle for more than 10 minutes you're going to get grilled.

It is no secret that our six year old is very inquisitive and thrives on learning and knowledge.  The more technical  and detailed the instructions or discussion is the more engaged she becomes.  As of late we've fielded many questions from her ranging from our topics on store Santa's, the difference in the double meanings of words such as country (rural town/nation), and the enormity of our universe as it is compared to our planet.  We've also covered lessons on subjects concerning strangers, religions, discrimination and bullying.  None of these, however, could have prepared me for the questions that I was going to have to field this past week.

Now before I go on with the story I should inform you that my husband and I do not believe in telling our children false stories when they ask direct questions.  We believe in answering them truthfully while keeping in mind that our answers are appropriate for their ages.  We also encourage them to research things that they are interested in and to find the answers to those questions we feel we cannot sufficiently answer ourselves. We also allow our children to take the answers that they have found and were given and create their own opinions/beliefs on the topic at hand rather than force the opinions/beliefs of others upon them.  This we believe allows them to find the right road in life for them and not one which someone else would choose for them.  Remember we are hear to teach and guide them.

As we sat outside of the Half Price Books store on Saturday afternoon waiting for Michael to finish his purchase Alyssa asked "Can a woman have a baby without having a husband?"  Startled at first I wasn't sure what to say but I quickly recovered and responded with "Yes, women have babies every day without having a husband.  When I had you, you're father and I were not yet married. That happened just before you turned two."  After pondering over that for a few seconds she then asked "How are babies made?"  To which I responded "We've already discussed before that they grow inside of the mother's belly."  Without skipping a beat she said "Yeah, I know, but how do the become a baby? How do they get there? What makes them?"  Totally baffled and not quite sure on how to field these new questions I explained to her that "there is a special love between a man and a woman that creates a baby."  "How does that love create the baby?" was her next question.  Again trying not to go into any real detail and keeping in mind that she is only six I once again told her that when a man and a woman are together they share a special loving bond with one another that creates a baby which the mother then carries in her belly until it is ready to be born.  At this point she just sort of let it go and we figured her satisfied.  This is where we were wrong.

Earlier that day we were in the bookstore looking for a birthday present for our 15 year old when Alyssa asked if we'd purchase a Children's First Encyclopedia for her so that she could learn about some "real" stuff.  Well let's just say that two days after purchasing that encyclopedia she discovered pages 122 and 123 titled "How Babies Grow".  After reading the pages she was quick to come and tell us how she'd learned that when a man's sperm joins with a woman's egg it fertilizes the egg and a baby starts to grow.  This apparently is the answer that she was looking for and wanted to make sure that we understood how it works too. Thank goodness there were no questions about how the sperm from the man gets to where it can join with the woman's egg. **phew**

The next inquiry from Alyssa came yesterday as we were leaving the Dallas Museum of Art.  I was nervously trying to navigate the streets of downtown Dallas in search of getting back onto the correct interstate to head home when from the backseat comes the question "Mom, why do mommies bleed and have to wear those diaper things?"  Trying to buy myself a little thinking time I quickly asked her to wait until I'd found the interstate and was on it before I answered because I didn't want to get lost.  I have to admit this was the truth.  If I were to start answering questions like that in detail and allowed my mind to wander from the task at hand (getting back onto the interstate) we would still be driving around the downtown area trying to find our way home.  So about 5 minutes later the interstate was found for the 3rd time and we were finally on it heading home.  In no time Alyssa asked "So, are you going to answer my question now?"  Geez Louise, this child doesn't forget anything.  After some careful thought I explained to her how she'd already learned that a mother's body holds eggs which are used to create a baby.  "Once a month the body releases one of these eggs and it travels through the fallopian tubes (you know those things that look like motorcycle handlebars) to the uterus (where the baby grows).  While this is happening the lining or walls of the uterus also thin 'causing the woman to bleed.  Those diaper looking things or sanitary napkins as they're called are worn to collect the blood and keep it from getting all over the woman's clothes."  Now she looked at me in a strange and disgusted way through my rear view mirror and asked "Where does the egg come from and why don't you and Dad get pregnant again?"  To which I responded, "Well honey, you know those round things on the end of the motorcycle handlebars inside of the woman's body?  Well those are called the ovaries and they hold thousands of little tiny eggs inside of them.  Mommy and Daddy don't get pregnant again because we take precautions and medicines to ensure that we don't have any more babies."  The rest of our conversation went like this:

Alyssa "What happens if you run out of eggs?"
 Me "Then I can't have any more babies ever." 
Alyssa "Do Dad's bleed too?"
Me "No."
Alyssa: "Why not?" 
Me: "Only girls once they reach the age of being a young woman and women have what they call the menstrual cycle.  That's how God made it." 
Alyssa: "Wow, he was gross!"

At that our conversation was over and I was left wondering where in the hell this child comes up with these questions and why does it only happen when we're in the car?  I love the fact that she is inquisitive and is comfortable with asking about whatever it is that grasps her interest but seriously shouldn't these be questions that I answer when she's twelve, not six.  Now while she is in school this week I am surely taking a closer look at that encyclopedia as well as her other reading materials so that I can be better prepared for our next round of questions. Hopefully my next test will be on something like space or mythical creatures.  

First Tuesdays at the Dallas Museum of Art

So what do you do when it's the last day of the kids winter break; the museum is having a kid friendly, free admission day and you have nothing else planned?  You notify all of your friends and have them meet you there for a fun day out in the arts district!


I luckily discovered a few days ago that the Dallas Museum of Art would be holding an event called First Tuesdays each month.  The event of course would be the "first Tuesday" of every month, is geared towards kids ages 2-5, each one will have it's own theme and most important, admission for the day is free.  I was excited at the prospect of finally taking the kids to the art museum on a day where children would be welcomed since in the past we have avoided places such as this for fear of our children not being able to contain themselves.

Now I'm not going to lie to you, the idea of a trip to downtown Dallas all by myself with the children is a terrifying thing for me, however, I managed to put on my big girl pants and a brave face and headed out of the door.  Now I am by far no expert when it comes to the downtown Dallas area and usually avoid it at all costs.  Today however, I was thouroughly surprised at how easy it was getting to the arts district and while yes I could have probably driven around and found a cheaper lot to park in I was okay with paying to park in the underground garage of the museum.

Once we got inside and met up with the other ladies and their wonderful children we headed on in to the festivities.  Today's theme was supposed to be that of the Super Bowl.  I do regret saying that while we were there I found that nothing we did had anything to do with sports, football or the Super Bowl, however we did have a great time.

First up on the agenda was to make sculptures using sheets of aluminum foil, scissors, paper, pipe cleaners, tape, and a few other craft items they'd set out.  Alyssa of course ended up with a fairy ballerina (once we got home and fixed her properly) and Cayden made......a train! (surprise, surprise!)



Next on our to do list was the obstacle course.  I have to admit again that being that this was held at the Museum of Art and it was supposed to be a Super Bowl theme my imagination had gotten the best of me and I was expecting a room with some astroturf (or something similar) on the floor, some inflatable "tackle" dummies, some "tires" (maybe hulahoops) to step through, and a football toss.  Not too much right?  So you can imagine my disappointment when we walked into the room and it was nothing like that.  I even think my kids were imagining something a little more grand because their faces immediately dropped at the site of the obstacle course.  Here they had to zig zag around a few cones; hop through some squares (like hop scotch); throw bean bags at some targets taped to a table; roll across some mats on the floor; jump next to some signs on the wall; then crawl through a pop up tunnel. At the end they received a blue ribbon with their names written on it. While slightly disappointed they still did the course and looked as if they had some fun doing it, but don't tell them I said so. LOL

After all of the kids in our group had made their way through the obstacle course we headed down to the play area that was set up.  Here the kids were able to walk through some play houses and several activities were set up on the walls.  There were legos, magnetic shapes, mirrors, sliding windows and all sorts of  stuff to keep them entertained for a bit. 

( Neither of them knew it was the other on each side of the window. 

Look how elated he was to find Alyssa & Cayden staring back at him.)



(Now it's Cayden's turn to peek through the window)

After the play area the group decided that the kids were well overdue for a much needed lunch break so we headed back down to the cafe area, claimed some tables and sat for a bit.  Most of the group had sack lunches they'd packed and I ended up grabbing a soda and a sandwich from the cafe.  First time I'd ever had a grilled chicken blt and I have to say, it was pretty darn good. 

With lunch done and the kids geared up and ready to go some more we headed back into the museum for the puppet show.  At first my two really weren't interested but agreed to watch for a bit.  Regretably my pictures of the puppets didn't come out very well so I don't have any to post but will share with you the look on Alyssa and Cayden's faces as they watched.  For most of the children the show seemed to be great, for mine the entertainment only lasted momentarily.

With their interest lost in the puppets I decided to split away from the group and take Alyssa and Cayden over to the room where they were making rings. Here we got to sit down with some pipe cleaners, assortments of buttons and jewels, glue, foam stickies, and other craft items and make our own "Super Bowl" rings.  This was such a fun and neat idea that I may have to use it for our next birthday/class party. 

(Mine & Cayden's rings...Alyssa sadly lost hers in the museum)

After making our rings and with the puppet show finished the festivities for the day were at their end.  The other ladies and children in our group were sadly leaving so I decided that we would take the opportunity to walk through the museum and take in some of the beautiful artwork they have on display.  The kids did really well walking with me very quietly and not touching anything.  Of course Cayden had to hold my hand the entire time to ensure that nothing would happen that would warrant the museum needing to detain us, call security, or set off any alarms but he did very well and we enjoyed looking at some of the many artifacts on display. 

(Figure of A Woman)

(The Roman Empire)

(Madonna and Child and St. Jerome)

(Bacchic Concert)

(The Adoration of the Shepherds)

(The Abduction of Europe)

(Apotheosis of Homer Vase)

(Shiva Nataraja)

(Durga Mahishasuramardini)

(Stele of Uma-Maheshvara)

(19th Century Folding Backgammon Board)

(Coffin of Horankh)

(19th Century African Memorial Figure)

(Japanese Helmet and Masks)

(Japanese Statues)

(Emma-O-Japanese Buddhist God of Death)

(Japanese Censer and Cover)

(Japanese Statue)